Tetris, forever.
Over the past couple of days, my brain has felt like the busiest airport in the world.
Hundreds of thoughts about work and life have been taking off and landing, continuously. I've been up in the air traffic control tower, running my one-(wo)man show, trying my absolute best to make sure none of them crash and burn.
As a sidenote, I’ve always admired the hell out of air traffic controllers. Most other jobs simply pale in comparison. To wake up each day, personally handle the safe flow of air traffic, make countless split-second decisions that directly impact thousands and thousands of lives… it’s nothing short of extraordinary.
Anyway, back to my low-stakes one-(wo)man show.
Busy weeks can feel extremely suffocating. They strip me of every opportunity to take a (real) break, think beyond the next deadline, see the bigger picture. It doesn’t help that my brain is perpetually stuck in a black-and-white, life-or-death pattern.
I guess I take Yoda’s wise words "Do or do not. There is no try" a little too far. He would probably be disappointed. 😣
There’s not much comfort I can find in the middle of a busy day or week, save for a quick laugh with a co-worker, a hug from a loved one, or, ideally, reaching the finish line on a task that’s been weighing on me for what feels like ages.
One other thing that helps, not just during these busy times but at every other point in my life, is making sense of things. Applying a narrative. Putting things in perspective.
Even when the narrative is not as empowering as I would like it to be.
So, this time, I thought of Tetris. You know, that old-school, 2D video game we used to play on our handheld game consoles back when we were kids. I still get nightmares about that.
If you were born after 2000 (hello, Gen Z) and have no idea how Tetris works, you essentially had to fit geometric blocks into free slots to complete rows without any gaps. As you progressed, the game would speed up, so you had to do the same thing as before, only faster.
Little did I know that the principles of this now ancient game would apply to my life as a working adult.
In some ways, I feel like I’m stuck in a game of Tetris, forever.
Trying to fit all the blocks (work tasks, personal tasks, and everything in between) into free (time) slots. Making sure there are no gaps, because that just fucks everything up. Feeling like if I misplace one block, it’s game over.
I can’t keep playing this game forever, that’s for sure. But I don’t want to quit either. All I can do for now is try to hack it. Slow it down, or turn some blocks into breaths.
Yes, breaths.
Inhale, look up at the sky, exhale. Inhale, step out into the sun, exhale. Deep breath, then back in the game.